In the words of the great American philosopher, Homer Simpson: “Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike, you just go in every day and do it really half-assed—that’s the American way.”
lyrics
I’m in a meeting that never ends, but keeps proceeding. Always extends, never completing, never makes sense.
So why try? Just check out instead. Most meetings are an excuse to shirk while doing something that looks like work. A pretext to flaunt fluency in jargon, too bad that logic isn’t part of the bargain.
I get my laptop and start to code but then I’m told, “all laptops closed.” So I submit, wishing that I could quit. But I can’t so I’m stuck with this bullshit. Now it’s time to go around the room. You’d think that meeting would end real soon, but Bob’s got something to say, there’s no doubt. Screw that. I’m done, because I’ve checked out.
I’m in a meeting that never ends, but keeps proceeding. Always extends, never completing, never makes sense. But I’m stuck, checking out is my defense. The air is stale and the room is hot. My body’s there but my mind is not. I’m in Belize in the ocean breeze, a drone outside but inside I’m free.
That’s how I manage to keep it together. The advantages are easy to measure. Go in each day, collect my pay: half-assed, the American way. So if you’ve got a job you don’t like, don’t quit, there’s no need to strike. Without your wages you’ll starve, there’s no doubt. Just work half-assed while you stay checked out.
